Confession 5: SO-OCD, my worst nightmare

What is SO-OCD? It stands for sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder. It seems to be rather rare and its effects have reduced what should be the best years of my life to the worst.

We still haven’t answered the question of what it is though. Like R-OCD, SO refers to the types of obsessions one has. Mine are about whether or not I am gay. I’m constantly worrying and concerning myself with my sexuality. Tests are a big part of this. I think of the one I love and I know I’m not gay, but the thoughts attack me consistently. They make me break down in tears. Some nights I weep, waiting until I’m all alone and hiding my pain when I’m not alone. 

It’s a hard road. I didn’t ask for it but it’s a part of my everyday life. I only trust and lean on the Lord and hope that He helps me through my trials.

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One thought on “Confession 5: SO-OCD, my worst nightmare

  1. Pingback: Confession 5: SO-OCD | confessions from an ocd sufferer

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